Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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