Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
the condom got lost in my hair
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I deserve this hangover.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
