Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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