Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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