well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
