sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
