He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
