just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i think i just lost a toe
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
