Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize