Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
