Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
