I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
