Soap is not a condiment
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
