Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize