But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
