she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
