Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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