"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
