I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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