HIV tests are more positive than that guy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
