i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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