You just made me feel so damn special
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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