what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
