He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
