After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize