How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
A bitchslap is in order.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
