i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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