How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Small penises have feelings too.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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