just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
