oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
