remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Two words: blizzard sex
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
