Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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