I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
