it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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