so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
