I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
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