I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
