He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
