Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
