OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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