Can Purell be used as lube?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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