Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
