omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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