I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
