Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
