I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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