Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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