Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
