After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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