remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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