Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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