I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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