you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
