It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i need an iv and a liver transplant
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
