I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
