The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
