I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
