Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
