im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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