1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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