oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
honey bunches of taint.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
