i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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