he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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