help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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