Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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