Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Do vagina's smell?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
