sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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