His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize