As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
