dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
