Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
