Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
