How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize