Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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