I hope mine doesn't look like that
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
this hospital has no fireball
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
