You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
